Munni badnaam hui...the fun of a Brown Girl's Reputation

When talking to people within the South Asian community the phrase “people will talk” leads to such a precise, all-encompassing understanding that no further words are needed. Instead you’ll get the knowing “hmm” and gentle head tilt that almost feel like affection, if not belonging. When explaining to those not of South Asian descent, I’ve found saying “it’s like being a a young, unmarried, high-society woman in Bridgerton” and that same understanding dawns.

The heartbreaking impact on young South Asian women, of the pressures of maintaining a perfect and spotless reputation are well-documented. In fact, it often feels like the hordes of Instagram pages dedicated to South Asian women, have arisen from a deep-seated cultural need to reduce the perceived shame and unlimited trappings of just being a young South Asian woman.

But on a frivolous and fantastically imaginative note, is there fun to be found in pursuit of that elusive Brown Girl Reputation? After all, isn’t that what Bridgerton and others like it are all about? The delicious fun that can be had whilst trying to be good and perfect, in the coverture and secretism?

And if we dare to give in to that can we actually empower ourselves? No-one can doubt the power in living authentically and with absolute truth but if the game must be played, can the players find their power in playing the game as suits them - externally, moving as the rules dictate whilst internally, moving to their own tune? After all, does anyone have the perfect reputation? The judging uncle is probably cheating and that gossiping auntie is definitely watching porn and masturbating. The hosts and creators of the Brown Girls Do It Too podcast said one of the biggest demographics in their audience is brown aunties. Go figure.

If this cycle of shame is designed for self flagellation and gossip (aren’t all cycles of shame?) then by leaning in to it with an exaggerated wink we mock it, embrace ourselves in all our chaotic, imperfectness, and in doing so, reclaim our power and do what we want anyway.